Guns, Sex and Space Fighters
by ArtysSexKitten
Summary: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space collenies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murdrer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash umong other things R&R 8th chap UP!
1. Default Chapter

**Title: Guns, Sex and Space Fighter's**

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Summery: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash among other things RR

**Authoress Note: Well now... sorry for the crappy title... I might think of something better later on... there needs to be more Butler and Arty fics, I wish we could get the point across... this idea came to me just then :) I wanted to write another B/A fic and I hope you will all like this one!**

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**Intro**

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Domovoi Butler growled quietly as he gazed out of the window on his cruiser. Life seemed to hate him. He was single, poor and had no sex life. And on top of that he was a 25 year old Bounty Hunter chasing a wanna be terrorist half way across the galaxy. He didn't need this. He didn't need to run around after a loony with a harmless _expired_ plasma bomb, who threatened to blow up the known universe with it. What he needed was a beer and some pretty girl or boy to spend time with, in his bed.

"I hate my life" He mumbled, banging his head on the control panel in front of him.

The terrorist's ship was up head. The guy, although stupid, could be quite dangerous if he got his hands on a REAL bomb, so Butler had been sent out to stop him. The guy had a large price on his head, and it was quite easy to bring him in. Because Butler didn't have to worry about a small problem called "accidentally killing you're subject" because the wanted notice had said "Dead or Alive" so the well built hunter could blow up the ship in front of him and not have to worry about being yelled at by the General. All he had to do was make sure that the guy was dead and he would be able to collect his fee.

Which was exactly what he was going to do. Really, he didn't know why he didn't think of this earlier. Butler had spent the last five hours chasing this guy when he could've just shot him and brought the body back to HQ. It was much easier to shoot someone then try and calm them down or knock them out. Butler hadn't brought his stunner with him, seeing as though it was in the shop and had relied on his fists to subdue the wanker he was trying to capture. But this guy was quite quick, and had ducked out of the way of every one of Domovoi's attempts at punching his face in. But now. Now the guy was in a small clunker of a ship and Butler had two very power full plasma cannon's on his state of the art cruiser. All he had to do was target the guy, push the button and BOOM, bye bye terrorist.

Butler wrapped one large hand around the firering stick and leveled up the ship with his targeting system. The screen to his right started beeping, a small green silhouette of the terrorist's ship blinking quickly in the middle of a few green circle's. He was about to push the button that caused the cannon's to fire when his inter com sparked into life and a high pitched, squeal of a voice screeched through the speaker.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET _ME_ YOU WEENER! I AM ONE OF THE--" Butler rolled his eyes and pushed the button, the voice cutting off abruptly as the ship in front of him blew up as a few well aimed shots of blue plasma hit the back of the cruiser.

After the dust settled Butler checked for life sign's and seeing none, blew up the debris for good measure.

"There, done" He said, pretending to dust his hand off. "Now to get my fee"

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"I don't see why you have to kill them all the time" Said the General, Julius Root was his name. He was an unpleasant little fellow with a very fowl temper. Always smoking and barking order's to anyone who passed. But he was good at his job and an old friend of Butler's father.

Butler shrugged. In a small compressed container in his right gloved hand was the terrorists head, one thing that had "survived" the explosion, so to speak. Root didn't want to see the head, so he took Butler's word that he had taken care of the psyco.

"You said dead or alive, and it's sometimes easier to kill them" He stated matter-of-factly.

Root nodded absently, a cigar held firmly between his clenched teeth.

"I shee, well I have anosher ashiment for you" He said around cigar. Picking up a small cream cylinder and handed it to the hunter. Who took it with a slight grimace and stared at the General blankly.

"What about my pay? I want that first" He said, holding out a plastic card.

Root took the card and shoved it into a slot on his desk. After a few moment's, a little light next to the slot flicked green and the slot itself made a small _beeeep_. Root took the card out and handed it back to Butler who smiled and put it in his wallet.

"It's all there, all 250 0000 setie" He said, taking the cigar out of his mouth. "Now, about you're next assignment"

Butler took this as his cue to open the cylinder he still held in his hand. The small metal roll, split in half and opened up like some futuristic scroll. But it wasn't paper that was unraveled, it was a hollo-screen and on it was a picture of a pretty boy, by the age of about 16.

"That" Started Root "Is Artemis Fowl the Second, he's a mas murderer from the dillia system, 16, genius not to be messed with. The kids finds things of large value and if the person owning the item doesn't hand it over, he kills them, sometimes he kills them anyway, if he doesn't like their attitude"

Butler looked back at the picture. Artemis had seme long black hair, that fell over his smooth face in a sort of delicate way, slender face covered in pale china doll skin and large bright blue eyes. Since it was a profile picture, Butler couldn't see the boys body or clothes, but he could tell from the high black collar that Artemis was wearing a coat. Everything about the boys face screamed grace and beauty. But from year's of training with the army, Butler could tell there was something much darker behind those wide set seemingly innocent blue eyes. Something, much, darker.

"I want you to go find him and bring him here, he's too valuable to be killed just yet, the high council say he holds some very important information in that pretty head of his, and they want to find out what" Root said, snapping Butler out of his daze. The hunter looked up at him and nodded.

"Fowl is said to be somewhere in connier system, go find him and bring him back here, oh and Butler" Root said, as the younger man was half way out the door. "Don't underestimate Fowl just because of his looks, he's a dangerous criminal who shouldn't be taken for granted"

Butler nodded once more and closed the door to Root's office, stopping just a few feet down the hall to look at Fowls picture again. No he wouldn't underestimate him, the kid didn't look like someone to be messed with.

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**Well there we go! the intro is done! How do you like it so far? Want me to continue? Review thanks and tell me what you think!**

**kiss kiss**

**ozumas girl**


	2. A Picture's worth a thousand words

**Guns, Sex and Space Fighters**

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Summery: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash among other things R&R

**Authoress' Note: Man I love review's... SO NICE! Sorry this chapter took so long... I've been lazy.**

**Also I am getting all of my ideas off various movies, anime and world history so yes, if you see something familiar then... yeah. I'm not good at science or chemistry so just bear with my dumbed down explanation of diff things... I don't want any of you science pros shitting me about how I explain things.**

**A BIG thanks to Mike my beta for correcting all of my horrid mistake's : ) If there IS any, that'll be the spell check on FF... blame it!**

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**Chapter 1:** A Picture's worth a thousand words.

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During the year 3000 the Earth had been forced into a war with a neighboring galaxy who liked the look of the "blue planet". The war had lasted over 158 years and at long last the humans had resorted to drastic measures

The planet had long since been evacuated and the populous of Earth where living in space colonies around the universe. The world leaders had decided long ago that they could not win the war by hand to hand combat, fire fights and such. So, they used something that would destroy the offending army and rendering the planet useless. It was a new invention that had yet to be tested, a bomb. Not you're average bomb either; it was a new type of weapon borrowed from a race who lived on Saturn's third moon. The technology was close to that of the Atomic bomb, but it was stronger and caused more devastation. When activated the bomb would send out a wave of energy that would wipe out anything and everything in its path. The rate of the explosion was to this day unrecorded, seeing as though those unfortunate people on the planet at the time where killed instantaneously.

Those looking on, had said it had happened in a heart beat. The bomb had been detonated in the world capital, somewhere near the old New York and had spread over the entire globe so quickly, the soldiers on the planet and those who chose to remain on the Earth had not even had time to take in their last breath before their bodies where disintegrated as the wave passed them.

In seconds the Earth was no more than a spinning globe of dirt and bones. All organic life were wiped out. The seas of Earth had been dried out and toxic gas and dust hung heavy in the air, so as to make sure the once blue planet would never again regenerate.

Butler had learnt about the great war at school. If it was anything else in history, he and his class mates would have been uninterested, couldn't really care less. After all, when do children ever take any interest in history?. But the great war of 3000 was different, this war was the reason why they didn't have a planet to call home anymore, why families where torn apart and moved to different corners of the universe. This was when the world of men had come together to fight off the aliens who threatened to take the blue planet over."

But enough about history. Butler was staring at Artemis' picture again, something he had been doing for the past half hour, well, there was nothing else he could do at the moment; the Connier system was a few hours away and sitting in a cramped little police shuttle wasn't what the bounty hunter would call comfortable. Domovoi was a big man and he could hardly fit in these little seats.

For reasons unknown, Butler wasn't allowed to use his precious cruiser. It had some how been damaged in the explosion, so he was stuck with this thing. It didn't go very fast and had a weird smell coming from somewhere near the broom closet. Butler was brave, but he wasn't brave enough to investigate what the heck stank. He would like to dispose of his lunch the right way.

Looking back at the photo, the bounty hunter cocked his head to one side. The kid was pretty, Butler would give him that. But he was young. Sixteen, how dangerous could he be?

If only Domovoi knew.

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A small, almost inaudible hiss in the air and a loud thump as something large and heavy hit the ground.

Six men stood around in a semi circle, mouths open eyes wide, their seventh member lying stiff on the hard stone floor of the ally. A black, high heeled (AN: Small heel, not like a women's) leather boot was placed on the man's muscular back.

"I told you guys to leave me alone, but did you listen?" The stranger flicked out one slender hand. A glint of silver and another man fell to the floor. "No,"

The now five men all gulped in unison, turned on their heels and ran down the ally as fast as their legs would carry them.

"Cowards,", the stranger muttered, catching the blade as it flew back into his hand.

Wiping the green blood from the silver surface, the boy slipped the knife back into its holster on his left thigh and walked down the ally way, stepping over the bodies that where sprawled on the ground.

(AN: That's all you get of Artemis for the moment guys and gals. I'm gathering you all knew it was him? If you didn't... woop's.)

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"Butler, we are within five minutes of the Connier system, wake up Butler," said a high nasal female voice over the loud speaker.

Butler awoke with a snort and fell off of his tiny chair, landing heavily on the hard tile floor of the cruiser. He glared up at the intercom and stumbled to his feet, looking out of the front window. There was a total of 15 planets in the Connier system and most of them where spinning balls of waste and ice. Not a very nice place to live if you're body couldn't take the 130 0000 below zero temperature the planet's surfaces cooked up. Why the kid wanted to be here was beyond Butler.

"Well, I guess not a lot of people are willing to come here, he must have thought no one would follow,", the hunter muttered, sitting back down. "Too bad he didn't know bounty hunters would do practically anything for money."

He looked back at the picture. Too bad it wasn't a full body shot, Domovoi would've liked to see what the kid carried. Weapons of course. The police never seemed to care for a full body shot. They had their little profile picture's and that was all they needed. Most officers used the excuse that it was hard to get an FBS. (AN: "Full body shot", I was getting tired of using it all the time) Which of course was a load of dung.

If they could get such a perfect picture of the kid's face, then they should be able to manage a little FBS.

Butler grunted. These were the Intergalactic Police, a group of fat, sweet-eating dunder heads who only knew how to point and shoot. Never mind about anything else, like how to take a proper photo.

Butler stuffed the cylinder back into his pocket and sat back, staring blankly out of the window.

The Connier System was looming ever closer and Butler once again began to wonder why Artemis had chosen this place as his hideout.

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**DONE! Another chapter done ppl, hope you all liked ; ) Well, I have nothing to say at the moment, so review please and tell me what you think.**

**kiss kiss**

**ozumas girl**


	3. First Meetings

**Title: Guns, Sex and Space Fighters  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Summery: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash among other things R&R**

**Authoress' Note: Um... looks like I left some of my beta's notes in the last chapter. That's... embarrassing. Hee hee... (blushes deeply). Well anyway I finally updated! Go me!**

**Flame me and you're an idiot. And if you flame, that will just prove my point. :P**

Chapter 3: You see a lot of things in an intergalactic bar. And this is one of them.

Butler practically fell out of the crappy little cruiser. Completely warn out. He had been to every single one of the Connier Systems 15 planets. All, that is, but one.

Zyon 3. (1)

One of the only planets in this system that was able to have life. Given, most of that "life" was spent in the underground city. But it was the best planet out of the fifteen. Above ground Zyon 3 was a wasted dump. Covered in grey dust, dirt and rocks. Under ground, it was a large city, popular with the shady side of the universe populous.

So, 49 hours, over 200 hundred criminals and a hole lot of swearing and gun swinging later, Butler stalked into the lift that led down to the Zyon city center.

It was a "coulorful" place to say the least. Full of gangs, druggies, hooker's, drunks, criminals, murderer's and other nasty people you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Butler was given a wide berth, because of his size and his portable armory that he carried with him. No one bothered him and that was just fine with the hunter.

So not at all worried about being confronted with the weirdo's that hung out here, Butler began his search for Artemis.

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Four hours later saw him sitting in a bar, nursing a large glass of... some sort of drink, he wasn't quite sure what it was, but it tasted good. That and he couldn't pronounce the name. Butler was slouching in a booth near the back of the bar. A few of the local hookers sitting in the booth opposite him, made what they clearly thought where sexy grins. Butler ignored them. Sure he wanted a shag, but not that bad.

He sipped the drink slowly, all of his thoughts on Artemis. Damn. This kid was very hard to find. He had asked everyone he passed, showed them the boys photo, but the response was always the same.

"Sorry, never heard of him."

Then they would shuffle off. Head tucked down, hands in pockets. It was like they were scared of mentioning him. Which was odd. From his picture, _Artemis_ looked harmless. Pretty, slim and innocent. But Root had warned him not to underestimate the kid, just because he was pretty.

Butler scoffed. How dangerous could a sixteen year old be?(2). It was then that the said sixteen year old chose this moment to come storming into the bar, knocking over a large man who was blocking the doorway. Butler gaped. Those slim little arms had just... thrown that guy into the wall. With what seemed like little to no effort at all.

Everyone ignored the small scuffle at the door. Trying their hardest to look anywhere but the entrance to the bar. Butler raised an eyebrow. Artemis brushed off his tank top and looked up, scanning the darkened room slowly. His bright blue eyes fell on Butler and they narrowed.

Butler - shocked at how intimidating that look was - shuffled back further into his seat. Artemis came over to him, standing in front of the booth. His small hands on his hips.

"What the hell are you looking at?" he asked.

Butler said nothing. That voice matched the kids look perfectly. It was smooth, cool and oh so sexy. Not very deep though. Butler guessed he hadn't hit puberty yet. Artemis leaned in, bringing his pretty face inches from Butler's.

"If you don't stop staring, I'm going to have to tear your eyes out." he said pleasantly.

Butler gulped. It was amazing how intimidated he was by this boy. Artemis held a very, cold and dangerous air about him. And Butler now knew not to mess with him. He was deadly, you could see it in his eyes.

The bounty hunter averted his eyes. Artemis smirked and straightened up.

"Keep that thought in mind next time you start peeving on young boys." he said, then walked away.

Butler looked down at his drink. He could of easily killed Artemis right there. Sent a bullet through his pretty little head. But the hunter knew the Fowl boy wasn't an idiot. No, if he had pulled his gun on him, Artemis wouldn't have gone without a fight. He'd most likely take Butler with him.

"You're going to be a tough little minx to catch." he said quietly. "But I'll enjoy the chase."

**(1) Yes, that name IS from the Matrix. I'm watching "a Cinderella story" and some guy dressed up as a character from the Matrix movie. So yeah! I also do not own anything from THOSE movies either!**

**(2) Um... did I say how old Artemis was? Did I say he was 16? I can't remember.**

**OK! THAT was a stupid ending... well whatever. I updated! YAY! I know it's short and not very good, but yeah... my beta is still away, so the spelling is crap. **

**kiss kiss**

**ozumas girl**


	4. You want a shag or what?

**Title:** Guns, Sex and Space Fighters

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.

**Summery:** AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R

**Authoress' Note:** Due to the reviews by marauders4 and OgaShi, I have decided to force myself to write something. Major writers block has stopped me from writing anything. Can't think... but you guys are so super nice with your glowing reviews. I couldn't help myself. But it's not as if I need heaps of reviews per update. That's stupid. I just like them. :D

Also an important note. My beloved beta has vanished. I haven't heard from him in a good while... so... my not so perfect spelling and junk isn't going to be improved anytime soon. Sorry all. I know it bothers some of you.

**important**

I have put an important note on my bio. It's VERY important. Please go look.

**important**

**Chapter 5:** You want a shag or what?

Since his brief meeting with Artemis, Domovoi had booked himself a room at a local hotel. Called _The Sleazy Arrow_. Butler had no idea _why_ someone would call a hotel _The Sleazy Arrow._ It didn't really make any sense.

_The Sleazy Arrow_ wasn't 5 star, the bed had suspicious looking stains on it, the wallpaper was peeling and there where bugs in the bathroom. But it wasn't like Butler would be asleep for long. Or, at all. He didn't really trust the stains on the bed.

He would sleep in his ship. But that was currently docked in a bay that was a five hour walk from where the bounty hunter was. And he didn't feel like the walk.

Artemis had hung around the bar for an hour after threatening Butler. Flirting with various men and stealing their wallets while their attention was on _other_ things. The bounty hunter gathered that Artemis used his body and his pretty face to get what he wanted. And if that didn't work. He'd use his gun. Or knife... or whatever weapon the kid had. He'd seen a glint of silver on Artemis's chunky black, silver studded belt. So he guessed it was throwing knives the convict used.

It would fit the boys look. He was graceful by nature. Butler could tell just by the way he walked. With the grace of a ballet dancer.

Butler wondered how much money the kid had gotten that night. Pick-pocketing didn't seem like the preferred past time of a master criminal and murderer. But... he guessed it was an easy way to get some quick cash. At least he hadn't come back to torment Butler.

It felt strange and somewhat embarrassing to think that. He was afraid of a kid. Domovoi Butler. Big Bad Bounty Hunter. Scared shitless of a teen with a pretty face. But in his defense. Artemis was a dangerous mass murderer. So there.

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Butler had decided to try and place a tracking bug on Artemis. Since the little fellow seemed to posses the technique of Vanishing Into Thin Air. All he would have to do was get close to the convict, sleep with him and plant the bug somewhere on Artemis's fine body. It was a good solid plan that had the success rate of 80 percent. He'd tried it on others and it had worked just fine. And he decided blindly that it would work on Artemis.

If not.

Well... Butler didn't like to think that far ahead. He'd much rather concentrate on the present. It was a lot more cheerful and blood free.

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Step one: Get close to the target.

It sounded a lot more simple then it actually was. Seeing as though said target had vanished into thin air again. Perfect. Such wonderful timing for the boy to decide to go invisible again. _This_ was the entire reason he had thought up this plan in the first place. He would have to find out how Artemis managed to disappear so quickly and for such long amounts of time.

Perhaps he could open portals into... no. Better not let his mind wander. Artemis could walk right by him and Butler would be too busy thinking up insane ways the boy traveled.

"Gotta stay focused." he muttered to himself, looking around the "market place" he was currently standing in. "If I were Artemis, where would I be."

"I'd say right behind you."

Even though he was trained by one of the most powerful armies in the northern side of the universe. Butler still jumped sharply and 'eeped' like a little girl at the voice. He turned around, trying to get his heart to slow down. And was met by a pair of pretty blue eyes. And a knife blade. Which was shoved between his eyes.

Artemis.

Wonderful. Instead of Butler finding Artemis. Artemis had found Butler.

The hunter stared dumbly at the smaller male.

"Um..."

Artemis looked at him with a slightly amused air.

"Do I know you?" he asked. Just screaming sweet innocence.

Butler went to say something, but was cut off by the teenager.

"Oh wait... I remember you. You where the one gawking at me last night. Yes, I remember your face." he said, sliding the tip of the blade up to Butlers cheek. "Cute."

"Er..."

The boy smirked.

"You've got some vocabulary there. Do you always say one word sentences?"

Butler shook his head. Artemis lowered his knife.

"No of course not. You also say nothing at all. Speak big man. I would like to know why you're looking for me. If you'd be so kind as to explain."

"Could you take the knife away from my person?" he asked.

Artemis looked at the knife, then at Butler.

"Alright if it pleases you." he slide the weapon back into it's holster. Butler spotted three more just like in sitting on a belt around the boys waist.

"Well... I ah..." What was he going to say? Butler hadn't thought that far ahead. He hadn't expected to stumble into the boy so soon. He'd just have to wing it and make something up. "I actually wanted to talk to you. I was blinded by your beauty last night and I needed to see you again." he said, making a mental note to kick himself later, if Artemis didn't do it for him. Real smooth Domovoi. Way to get your self killed.

But to his great surprise the pretty killer smiled.

"How sweet. You wanted a shag or something did you?" he said casually, as if this where a normal thing to discuss with a stranger.

Butler blushed.

"Ah well... I ah..." Well he wouldn't mind one.

"Because if you did, I wouldn't be against it. But you'd have to pay me. I don't let people fuck me for nothing."

Such filthy words coming out of such a pretty creature. Butler was stunned. Though couldn't really object to such an offer. This _was_ part of his Plan after all.

"How much?"

Artemis gave him the once over.

"100 celle an hour. 300 if you're crap."

Butler nodded faintly. Fair enough... but who was the judge of how good he was going to be? Artemis could just _say_ he was crap after five hours of sex and get 1500 celle for nothing. Well Butler was pretty confident in his love making and he considered himself quite good. So did almost all of his ex lovers.

"Alright deal." he said.

This was going to be _so_ easy.

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**End note:** Yeah... it took me this long to write that. But... writers block people! (whine) It has me in a firm grasp. I mean... I started this chapter with with the general idea of what I wanted it to be about and... when I finished writing it... I'd completely by-passed my original idea and wrote... that.

So yeah. Review if it pleases you. It'd please me. :D Flame... well... the amount of positive reviews I get for this kind of out shines your pitiful attempt at shallow minded ranting. :P

kiss kiss

ozumas girl


	5. Aging Whores and Cowardly Droids

**Guns, Sex and Space Fighters  
**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.

Summery: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R

Warning: It's SLASH. Fuck off if you don't like it.

**Authoress' Greeting: Hello all! And welcome to the next over-due installment of Guns, Sex and Space Fighters. Hope you enjoy it. Even though it's short.**

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**Chapter 5: Aging Whores and Cowardly Droids.**

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The stench of polluted air roused Butler from his slumber. And also the warmth of a small body cuddled up beside him.

A smirk slid itself onto his lips and the hunter opened his eyes.

Dull green eyes stared back.

Green eyes? Didn't Artemis have _blue_ eyes? Butler shifted through his memory of the boys fair appearance and confirmed that yes. Artemis _did_ have blue eyes.

So that meant that the person lying next to him was _not_ Artemis. Unless the boy used contacts or something. But... if it wasn't the teenage criminal. _Who was it?_

Butler, who had closed his eyes again after meeting the stare of whoever the hell was in bed with him. Opened them again. Hoping against hope that this was a bad dream and in fact Artemis was lying here, snuggled up to him.

But it didn't seem like Lady Luck was smiling on him today. Not like she ever was. Because the dull, green gaze met him again.

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Butler sat on an over stuffed lounge of a local bar. Once again nursing some alcoholic drink in his hands and staring mournfully into the middle distance.

The stranger in his bed turned out to be an aging hooker who went by the name "Winky." She'd smirked at him when he continued to blink at her and said in deep gravely tones.

"Well good morning handsome. How would you like another romp?" and slid one thin, scaly hand up his thigh.

He'd thrown her out as soon as his brain registered what was happening when she'd started touching him in places she really shouldn't have.

Now, feeling violated, ill and very confused. The Bounty Hunter tried to figure out how he'd ended up in bed with some old whore, who was past her used by date and not with a sixteen year old murderer.

It was obvious Artemis had played him. And stole from him. If the missing four hundred dollars in his wallet was any clue. But how?

He didn't _remember_ anything. All he remembered was talking to Artemis on the street and following the boy to this hotel. Then... uh... _then._

"Then we had some drinks and... Oh!" Butler looked at his glass. "He must have slipped something into my drink. And when I passed out, got the hooker onto me, took my money and ran off." he nodded to himself. Pleased that he'd figured it out. Then paused when he realized _what_ he'd figured out. "That. Little._ Fuck_."

He'd tricked Butler and stolen his money. And he was probably laughing at him too. Thinking what a stupid moron he was for falling for such a simple trick. He could see it now. Artemis flipping through the bills he'd stolen and laughing to himself. Well... he wouldn't be laughing for _long_. That boy didn't know who he was messing with.

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Butler didn't know how right he was. Because at that very moment, Artemis was in fact, flipping through the bills and laughing quietly to himself.

"Men can be so stupid." he said, folding the bills and putting them in a little black zip up pouch on his belt. (1) "I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he woke up. But I have places to go. People to kill. Speaking of which."

He looked over at the police cruiser sitting in a docking bay across from him. This had to be that Butler guys. He'd babbled about it while Artemis was getting him into bed. The drug he'd given him making him sing like a canary. He'd told him where his ship was. How long it'd been since he'd had sex. Where he hid his money. And what he did for a living. All about his childhood at the army and just life in general.

Artemis approached said ship and sneered up the small, rusting cruiser. What a heap of crap. A bounty hunter as successful as Butler was, you'd think he'd have a better cruiser than this shit box.

"Oh well... an old ship is better than no ship."

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"What do you _MEAN_ my ship is gone?"

The droid. Which had broken the bad news to Butler, cowered. Oh he was used to dealing with rude, rugged pilot's. But this guy was holding a 224 Heelion Plasma Cannon to his head. He was big. Seven foot tall to be precise. Built like a troll. And did he mention he was aiming a 224 Heelion Plasma Cannon, which could tear a clean hole though reinforced _titanium, _at his head?

"Uh... well sir, you see... what happened was... one moment it was there and the next it wasn't."

A vein in Butler's temple started to throb and he cocked the Cannon a little.

"How was it, _there one moment and **gone** the next_? How the bloody fuck could you _loose _a ship!"

"I don't know?" was offered as a sheepish and quite lame reply. Because in truth. The droid _didn't_ know what had happened to the ship he had meant to be guarding. He'd fallen asleep you see.

The Bounty Hunter gave one last death glare to the robot and stormed over to the now vacant lot.

"'One moment it was there and next it wasn't.' Stupid tin can." he muttered, looking the oil stained concrete over for any clue that might explain why--

"Hello. What's this?"

Butler bent down, picking up a white scrap of paper that was lying on the ground, something scrawled on it. He read it once, swore and walked out of the holding bay. Yelling about "Stupid little whores." and "I'll show you thanks you skinny tart!."

The droid, relieved he hadn't been blown to bits. Picked up the note the man had thrown on the ground. It read:

_Thanks for the money and the ship._

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**(1) When he says "Men.". He means. Men. As in fully grown guys. Not men in general. Otherwise he'd be insulting himself.**

**End note: **I wrote another chapter. Aren't I good? (her voice echoes around the silent room.) Yes well... how'd you like it? See? Got you all thinking (most of you anyway, some of you guessed it was a trap) that Butler and Arty had a shag really early. But they didn't. Lol.

Hope you liked this chapter. I apologize for my lack of updates. I have no excuse other than writers block. Review and tell me nice things.

They don't have that button so you can mouth off.


	6. Public Transport Sucks

**Guns, Sex and Space Fighters  
**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.

Summary: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R

Warning: It's SLASH. OOC, cross-dressing, cursing. Fuck off if you don't like it.

**Authoress' Greeting: The next chapter. I hope you all like it. Also I changed my mind about the boots Arty wears. They DO have a heel. Stiletto. XD Go cross-dressing!**

**(A big thanks to my beta for correcting my mistakes. And if anything is wrong, it's all me. And spell check.)**

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**Chapter 5: Public Transport Sucks.**

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"'Thanks for the ship'. He says. _Thanks for the ship?_ I'll thank him alright. With one of my guns to his pretty little head?"

A little girl, who had the unfortunate luck to be seated beside the irate Bounty Hunter. Bunched up her little hands and scooted another few centimeters away from him. Butler failed to notice, too wrapped up in his rage.

Without a ship he had been forced to take public transport. And while there really wasn't anything _wrong_ with it. It just really sucked. The Intergalactic Council had created large, 5 story ships. Used to take families, refugees, soldiers and other people who couldn't afford their own cruises, across space.

It was a good idea. Butler had to admit. But the actual buses where something to be desired. They where big sure. But that was just the body. It was the seating arrangements that where the problem. Each bus had about 500 seats. Said seats where small iron things with thin padding. Not very comfortable. But they served their purpose.

Only when there was a passenger that exceeded the 200 kg weight limit was there a problem. Which was pretty often, seeing as there were a lot of races in space that_ did._ But the council had somehow decided that the seats where strong enough to support a being that weighed _over_ 630 kg.

They where also packed tightly together. With only 5 centimeters between each seat. So you where forced closer to the person beside you than you really wanted.

This and a few other reasons made Intergalactic Public Transport a less than pleasant way to travel.

"This completely sucks. That little whore is going to _pay_." Butler growled, receiving a few odd looks from surrounding passengers. The little girl shuffled away a little more, almost falling off her seat.

--

Artemis looked at the poor excuse for a navigation system on the cruises control panel. It was telling him there was another three hours before he reached his destination. But according to _his_ calculations, it was only two hours. He kicked the screen with one of his beloved boots and sneered as the little blue map flickered on and off. Finally turning off altogether.

"Piece of junk." he muttered, standing up and stretching.

He was headed for a bustling planet called Corasont. (1) The entire surface was a city. There wasn't one meter of the planet that wasn't covered in steel or concrete. It was Artemis' favorite planet of the millions he'd been to. It was crowded and he could hide from authorities. And it had good shopping.

Artemis doubted that fool Butler could find him in that bustling steel jungle. No other authoritative figure had been able too. And Artemis wasn't about to let his record of not being captured be broken by Domovoi Butler. Though he was pretty cute.

"Maybe I should have got a shag out of him while I had the chance." mused the boy absently. He shrugged and headed out of the bridge. He needed a shower.

---

The Corasont Central Bus Stop was a bustling mess of activity. Butler noted that you couldn't go three feet without being hassled by a salesman, religious group or hobo's trying to scab money off of passing travelers.

There was also the hundreds of families, school groups, traveling entertainment groups, soldiers, couples, business men/women and the odd celebrity that passed in and out of these doors daily that you had to wrestle your way through in order to just get _outside_.

Butler didn't know why he had come to Corasont. It was just a hunch that Artemis may have come here to hide. The place was big enough. _And_ it did pose as an ideal home for criminals on the run. Especially in the lower grounds of the city, where the actual bottoms of the enormous buildings stood forgotten in the thick fumes and fog that was a permanent fixture in the lower barracks.

"Excuse me sir. May I interest you in this lovely state-of-the-art watch that _also_ doubles as a navigator for all your shopping, traveling needs." said a man suddenly, pushing himself in front of the hunter.

He was a bright, violent green colour and had four set of arms. His bright pink suit clashing horribly with his unique skin colour. The guy blinked at him patiently. Holding a case full of watches and trinkets before him.

Butler glared, he had no time for this, and tried to walk around the alien.

"No thanks. I already have a watch."

The salesman hopped to the side to stand in front of him again.

"Oh but these are so very lovely. I'm sure your partner would love one for his/her birthday."

"No _thank you_."

"All hand made!" the alien carried on, as if Butler had never spoken in the first place. "The battery re-charges itself, and the screen is so clear, you'll think it wasn't there at all! Just 200 celle, a bargain!"

A vein started to throb in Butler's temple. He _really_ didn't have time for this. In one swift motion, Butler pulled a large energy based shot gun out of a holster on his hip and pressed it to the alien's cheek.

"Look I have just spent the last _fifteen_ hours wedged between a little girl who can't keep her mouth shut and a obscenely large man with a bowel problem. I'm looking for a particularly dangerous criminal who seems to have the ability to disappear into _thin air _and the last thing I need is some pathetic little salesman with a hearing problem! I don't want your watches. I don't want _anything you have to offer. So will you please get the fuck out of my way so I can get out of this fucking building in fucking peace_?" he growled.

The alien nodded mutely, shuffling off quietly and disappearing into the crowd of people. Butler watching, still caught up in his rage. When they guy was out of sight, Butler turned around and started to walk out of the station. He pushed his way through the crowds, ignoring the cries and curses of people he elbowed out of his way. Then out of nowhere, a large blue alien came barreling toward him. Butler only had enough time to say a loud "Oi!" when the guy slammed into him and knocked him and someone else to the ground. The alien only pausing to say a brief apology and explain that he was running late before moving off again at an alarming speed.

"Asshole." muttered the Bounty Hunter sullenly. He gathered his stuff and looked to see whom else the fat terd had bulldozed to the ground.

A young girl with blond curls sat in a heap on the ground. Her white loose fitting dress crumpled around her thighs. She rubbed her head and looked up at the hunter with bright blue eyes. Butler started, stumbling to his feet and helping her up.

"I'm sorry. Are you hurt?" he asked, turning on his gentlemen mode.

The girl picked up a large black bag and nodded, smiling at him.

"Yes. I'm fine." she said.

Butler smiled.

"That's good, people should watch where they're going.". The girl smiled again and hoisted the bag onto a slim shoulder.

"I agree, these places are quite dangerous." she laughed lightly, then looked over her shoulder. "Well I must be going. Thank you for helping me." Butler was about to say it was nothing, she was a girl after all, when said girl stepped up to him, kissed his cheek. And whispered in a much deeper voice. "And ah... thanks again for the ship. It _really_ came in handy."

To say Butler was shocked would be a vast understatement. As he watched Artemis skip backwards a few feet. Smiling at him coyly. The hunter snapped out of his socked daze quickly though and stared for the boy, hands outstretched. But Artemis, it seemed, had other plans. He dropped the bag, brought both hands (balled into fists) to his chest and cried out in a high girly voice.

"HELP! THIS MAN'S TRYING TO KIDNAP ME! SOMEONE HELP!"

Butler froze, mid step as surrounding people turned to look at himself and Artemis. It must have looked pretty suspicious to strangers. Artemis did make for a good girl, because they were upon the Bounty Hunter at once. Forcing him to the ground in a mass of angry women and police officers.

Artemis smirked, picked up his bag and walked backwards into the crowd. Blowing a kiss to Butler as the guard watched helplessly as he disappeared once more.

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(1) I borrowed this name from Star Wars. It's more than likely spelt wrong. But you get the idea.

**End note:**

Review and tell me nice things.

They don't have that button so you can mouth off.


	7. The CCM

**Guns, Sex and Space Fighters  
**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.

Summary: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R

Warning: It's SLASH. OOC, cross-dressing, cursing. Fuck off if you don't like it.

**Authoress' Greeting: I thought I might tell you all how I came UP with this idea. I saw the ad on the TV for the new Battle Star Galactic (sp) show. And that Spaceman song by Babylon Zoo. Manly the song. That little... spaceman thing at the beginning and through out the song. Lol. I love that song.**

**I also said this in the last chapter: "Blowing a kiss to Butler as the **guard** watched helplessly as he disappeared once more." Sorry, I didn't mean for it to be 'guard'. Force of habit. Lol.**

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**Chapter 7: The CCM**

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Jail, Butler had found out. Wasn't the nicest of places. It was cold, dark and very depressing. Oh sure he'd known jail wasn't a palace. But he hadn't known it was this awful. No wonder his targets wanted stay away from here.

But as this _was_ only a holding cell. Butler really couldn't _say_ what actual jail was like. But he guessed it was the same. Only bigger and with more people.

Staying there was awkward and as enjoyable as throwing yourself into pool full of flesh eating beetles. The small cell housed seven other people. Even though Butler guessed it could only accommodate two. There where no walls. Only bright purple energy beams that worked as bars. Separating each cell from eachother and the narrow corridor used by the guards. The awkward thing was that half the prisoners of the jail _knew_ who Butler was. Because he was the one who _put_ them there.

And unfortunately for Domovoi Butler, a lot of those people where in his cell with him. And even more unfortunate was that they saw no reason to keep their distance. Or their hands and whatever make shift weapon clutched in said hands, to themselves.

It was with great pleasure and relief, after five hours of bonding with his cell mates, when a towering guard lumbered over and told Butler that he was free to go. Opened the cell and literally threw him out onto the street, and into a crowd of tourists that where taking pictures of the police station.

After beating them off, the Bounty Hunter headed for the 200 story high mall in the center of the city - the Central City Mall. Creative name. Butler guessed it took the people owning it about... three seconds to think that up.

To get there, he had to take three buses, four trains and walk about a mile. It would have taken quicker. But Butler didn't have any money. Thanks to _Artemis. _That little swine.

As Butler was standing on the last train ride of his little trip, wedged between an obscenely obese women, who obviously thought the violent pick mini skirt looked good on her and a tall, thin business man. He thought back to the large black bag the convict was lugging around with him. Last he saw Artemis, the boy didn't have any baggage, unless you counted that belt of his, baggage.

What was in the bag? A bomb? Nah. The Bounty Hunter shook his head. As if Artemis was stupid enough to carry around a bomb in a bag, on the Intergalactic Transport no less. Actually now that he thought about it, it couldn't be _anything_ even remotely threatening. Bags where checked a number of thirteen times on the buses of IT (Intergalactic Transport). Nothing went a miss. Mostly. So guns, knives, poison, explosives, swords, money, fruit, animals... other people stuffed into suitcases had been found on occasion, but nothing life threatening couldn't be in that bag. So what was. It looked heavy. Artemis' thin little arms where straining with it's weight. Had seen the way they shook.

_Perhaps he just has a lot of clothes._ The Hunter reasoned, then mentally slapped himself for even thinking something so pathetically idiotic. A lot of clothes.

Butler was, quite violently, jogged out of his thoughts as the train stopped. Suddenly, as if it had just smashed into a wall. Throwing the unfortunate passengers that where standing, into eachother in the corridors.

"_Central City Mall Station. All passengers please..._" Butler was carried out with the flood of people. Pulling away from them and standing a little way off to get his barrings once inside the building.

There where people _everywhere_. Going in and out of shops. Talking in the middle of the walkways. Eating at the many food courts. Mothers and children. School kids traveling around in packs. Wealthy people who just wanted pass time by spending money. More business men. Security guards. Pick pockets. You name them, they where here. And so was Artemis. Hopefully. Though Butler had been right about the genius coming to Corasont. Maybe he'd be right again and find him at the mall.

"Or maybe I'm wrong and he's on the other side of the planet." he grumbled.

Although now was not the time to doubt his judgment. He'd just have to search. All 200 floors. 8000 stores and 300 food courts. The 400 toilets. Though he could cancel out the womens. Or at least he hoped. Artemis _was_ dressed as a girl last he saw him. And he was pretty sure he could walk right into a girls loo and not get beaten into a coma.

Butler was starting to wish he'd never taken this assignment.

--

A blond girl was walking through the 17th floor of the CCM. As it was want to be called. Saying Central City Mall all the time could be tiering. The girls long, loose fitting white dress swishing around her slim frame. A large black bag slung over one narrow shoulder.

Her blue eyes where large and seemingly innocent. Shadowed by thick black lashes. She did not go unnoticed by the people around her. After all. The 17th floor was known to attract less than pleasant shoppers. Choosing to sell things that might have been illegal. The mall did claim to sell anything and everything. And they had the shops to back it up.

And the pretty face and slender body was a welcome, if not odd, change in the hallways of the 17th floor.

"Hey there little lady. That bag looks pretty heavy. Mind if I take it for you?" asked a hulking alien. Leering down openly at the girl.

She shook her head. Blond curls bouncing fetchingly.

"No thank you. I can manage."

The man didn't seem to hear her, or if he did, he'd ignored her reply completely. He started forward. Trying to snatch the bag away from her. The girl held fast. Blue eyes steely.

"You want the bag?" she said.

The stranger growled and looked at her.

"I'd like more than the bag cutie. So just let it go and we can have some fun."

There was a strange light to the girls eyes as he said that. She let the bag go, allowing the man to tumble to the ground.

"Fun?" she said, her voice had dropped a couple of tones. It was deeper, like a boys. Her eyes flashed. "I'd like some fun. But not the kind you're thinking of."

In a split second a blade shot out of the toe of her boot and she pulled her leg back, swinging it with all the grace of a ballet dancer. Into the mans forehead. Pulling the blade out, the stranger dropped to the floor like a stone. The 'girl' smiled. Picked up her bag and carried on. The surrounding shoppers ignored the scuffle and they walked over the body as if it weren't even there. There where used to things like that happening.

--

Ok... so Artemis wasn't on levels 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 or 9. That left... Butler checked his little map of the CCM. 191 floors to go.

"Wonderful..." he said glumly. Sipping a coke he'd bought from one of the many food outlets.

Butler had long ago realized how stupid this plan was. Sure Artemis could be at the CCM. But that didn't mean it was going to be easy to find him. The genius could be anywhere. And if Butler arrived on a floor Artemis was also on. The boy could spot him and go to another floor. It would just keep going and going... until Butler grew tired of looking for him and gave up. Letting Artemis take over the universe or whatever it is he was planning to do. The Bounty Hunter decided to skip a few floors. It was a pretty slim chance Artemis was going up, one floor at a time. Butler had to think of what would bring the boy here. The reason was probably something shiny and explosive. And shiny and explosive things where on level... 17. He'd go there.

His resolve set and with a new lead on life, Butler headed for the lift.

--

Pressed up against the glass viewing window of the elevator, Butler was allowed a quick view of the passing floors. Each view lasted half a second. The lifts really moved fast. And the only reason people weren't glued to the floor was that the lift chambers had some sort of... gravity _thing_. Butler didn't bother himself with details. He had thought using the glass lifts would give him a chance to get a good look around. But like many of his ideas. It worked out well in theory and never in actual practice.

But Butler wasn't shocked. He didn't normally catch his targets with brilliant schemes and clever traps. Shoot first and ask for identities later. That was his motto. And it worked well. If he had anything to say about it.

The lift stopped and all it's passengers where sent stumbling into eachother. Falling out of the opening doors like sand slipping through open fingers. (1) Butler dusted off his clothes. And climbed over the other shoppers, who scuttled back inside when realizing _where_ they had stopped.

Floor 17.

I should point out that each floor had it's own theme. To suit their separate specialty. Floor 17 sold all things dangerous and illegal (In some parts of the universe). The corridor was dark. The lights where of the dim, blue variety. And the carpet and ceiling were black. It didn't scream "come and shop here!" like the other floors. It practically told shoppers to rack off.

This seemed like the kind of place Artemis would come. It was so obvious Butler didn't know why he hadn't thought of it earlier. He started foreword and over to a shop selling guns. He was thankful for his black clothing and portable armory strapped to his person. Otherwise, he might've looked out of place. The fact that he was 7ft tall and as intimidating as a giant scorpion helped as well.

"Excuse me." he asked the man behind the counter. "You haven't seen a blonde girl in a white dress come in here have you?"

The shop clerk stared at him beedily. One eyebrow raised.

"No."

"Well... how about a slim boy with black hair and blue eyes." Butler tried again.

"No."

Butler pulled the hollo-scroll out and showed the man Artemis' picture. He got the same reply and left the store with a new gun. He didn't need one... but it never hurt to have more than 20.

Shop after shop and Butler got the same response. It seemed Artemis hadn't been here after all. He was wrong. Again. The Bounty Hunter was slouched at the counter of a large store that sold imported poisons. The girl serving him had rushed out the back to take a phone call. Which left Domovoi stranded, by himself.

The bell at the door jingled and Butler turned around to see Artemis, in all his blond, frock covered glory, standing in the open doorway. If he was surprised to see Butler there, he didn't show it. He strolled in. The black bag still hanging from one shoulder, and stood at a shelf near the hunter.

"No hard feelings about getting you arrested." said the convict conversationally. Picking up a vial of something green and fluorescent. He turned his head to smile coyly at Butler. Who snarled at him in return.

"Non at all." he growled out. "How about drugging me, having me raped by an old whore, steeling my money and taking my ship?"

Artemis put the vial back down and picked up another.

"You where careless. I couldn't turn down an opportunity at a free ship." he said simply.

"You _drugged_ me."

"And you where going to use an innocent young boy for sex." Artemis shot back. "Shame on you."

"Innocent... yeah." Butler turned fully, so his back was leaning against the counter. He looked at Artemis for a moment as the boy looked at the different poisons. "Why are you looking at poisons?" he asked finally.

Artemis turned around, white dress twisting around his slime body.

"I like collecting them. What do you think?" he asked in slight amusement, toying with a fat bottle of acid. Butler flushed lightly in embarrassment. Realizing what a stupid question it had been. When the bounty hunter remained silent, Artemis cocked his head to one side. "So... aren't you going to arrest me? I'm just standing here after all."

"With a bottle of acid in your hands." replied Butler in a toneless voice.

Artemis looked at the bottle and laughed lightly. Butler found that he liked the sound. Artemis put the bottle down.

"How about now?"

"What's in the bag." asked Domovoi, changing the subject. The boy was just toying with him after all. He knew Butler couldn't arrest him. Not while he was fully on guard.

Artemis glanced at the bag.

"Nothing you should concern yourself about." he said. "You're awfully nosy."

Butler shrugged. The girl came back. Apologizing for the wait. Butler turned to her, not all the way. Still keeping Artemis in his sights. He thanked her, but said he didn't need her help anymore. He'd found who he was looking for.

"Alright sir." she said. Butler pushed himself off the counter and turned back around. Artemis was gone. Damn it! He'd been right here, under his nose and now he'd lost him. Just _wonderful!_

Sighing he dragged himself out of the shop. Then stopped when he saw the teenage convict waiting for him outside. Artemis smiled at his expression.

"This game of cat and mouse can be put on hold for the time being." he said. "I'm bored and you're... interesting to talk to."

"What makes you think I won't just kill you?"

A smile.

"Because you have orders _not to_. The Council need some information I have and I wouldn't be of much use to them dead." Artemis said easily. He was stating classified information as if he'd read it in the morning paper.

"How did you-"

The convict cut him off.

"How did I know? It's quite obvious. The Council have been trying to get me for a while. So many of your kind have come after me for the same reason. I just gathered."

Butler nodded slowly.

"Alright then. But why are you just talking to me like this? I could arrest you and you'd be thrown in jail. Why not run while you had the chance?"

Artemis pushed himself off the wall he'd been leaning on and walked over to Butler. Pressing his small body against the hunter's larger bulk.

"Because... I said I was bored. And I want to have some fun. You're cute and I'm pretty, think of the things we could do..." he softly, seductively.

Butler scoffed, but did nothing to remove the welcome warmth.

"Last time this happened you drugged me and stole everything but my clothes."

Artemis shrugged. He reached up and yanked Butler's face down to his level. Tilting his head, Artemis brought his lips up to the others. Barely touching.

"A mistake. But if you'd like to try again. I'd be more than willing."

Domovoi didn't move. Artemis' slim black eyebrows rose and he pulled away. Pouting like a child.

"Well alright then. Your loss." he said, and turned around. Obviously fully intending to disappear again.

Butler came back to his senses quickly and snatched hold of one slim wrist. Pulling Artemis back to him and crushing his mouth against the younger mans.

Like he was going to turn down an opportunity like this.

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(1) I tried to be poetic there. See how bad I am? Which is why my fics don't have a lot of raw, well written emotion. Only when I'm super depressed.

**End note: I don't have a plot, yet. But this story didn't have much OF one to begin with. And they kiss and you all are probably thinking it's too fast. But really it isn't. They aren't going to confess their love for one another yet.**

**And Artemis is going to go back to his normal clothes and hair style soon. I was just playing around with the idea of him being blond.**

Review and tell me nice things.

They don't have that button so you can mouth off.


	8. IOU

**Guns, Sex and Space Fighters  
**

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But that doesn't mean I can't mess with Artemis and Butler.

Summary: AU It's the year 3846. Earth is a wasted dump and humans now live in space colonies scattered around the universe. Butler is a warrior turned Bounty Hunter. Artemis is a murderer with a price on his head. OOC and Slash. Among other things R&R

Warning: SLASH. OOC, cross-dressing, cursing. Fuck off if you don't like it.

**Authoress' Greeting: A kissing scene to open the chapter and I apologize if it's not very good. Gah, I'm just _no good._ T.T **

**I have also noticed that anything regarding Butler is humor at his expense. And anything with Artemis is serious. Lol. I can't stand to make Arty into the comic relief in this like I normally do. I have Butler for that. Poor fellow.**

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**Chapter 8: I.O.U**

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As Butler's tongue slipped inside the mouth of the convict currently trapped in his arms. All thought of handcuffing the boy and bringing him back to HQ and to Root vanished. There was only Artemis and his... everything. Not just his mouth, but his body, his skin. So soft and smooth. His hair, which Butler had found out was not a blond wig, but had been died. Was like silk. The blond curls slipping easily through his fingers as he held one hand on the back of Artemis' head. Keeping his mouth pressed against his own.

Artemis himself didn't seem to bothered when he was shoved up against the wall. Butlers body pressing itself flush against his and he moaned into the others mouth at the contact. One hand tangled into his blond hair and the other trailed down his body to grip his behind, bringing him even closer to the Bounty Hunter.

Two minutes later and they pulled apart. Breathing heavily, the need for air overriding the need to shag in the hallway. Artemis was flushed, blond curls ruffled. Still trapped between Butler and the wall. The hunter himself didn't have any hair too ruffle, but his cheeks where a light shade of red and his eyes where dark with lust.

Artemis looked at him. Their face inches apart. Both seeing no reason to break the oh so wonderful contact that their bodies where providing.

"You're an alright kisser. I'm surprised." the words where spoken softly, in between gasps for air.

Slim fingers played with the back of Butlers neck as the Bounty Hunter struggled to answer. Artemis watched him, a smile playing on his kiss swollen lips. He glanced down for a second, then back up. Butler caught the look and raised an eyebrow. Still not having the ability to speak.

"Is that one of your guns poking my thigh?" asked the boy coyly. Moving said thigh against the 'gun'. Butler groaned, his grip on Artemis tightening. The murderer chuckled. "Guess not."

Butler looked down at his tented pants. If he were someone who got embarrassed easily, he'd have blushed. But he wasn't, so he didn't. Instead, he tired not to leer and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Artemis made no move to help, the convict himself looking like the very epitome of calm.

"You're easily excited." he stated simply. "I thought you wouldn't get so worked up that quickly. But hey, it's not like it's a bad thing."

Butler nodded slightly. So... they where going to have sex yes? He hoped so. From what he could tell just from feeling the frame of the killer through his dress, the boy was perfect. And he was a good kisser, submissive too.

Blue eyes peered up at him through blond bangs and Artemis smirked.

"Let me guess. You want a shag. Am I right?"

Butler nodded. Artemis raised one hand up to his mouth and chuckled.

"My how _daring_." he said in mocking sort of tone. Butler scowled.

"You asked." he grunted.

"Well I didn't think you'd answer so honestly." replied the boy with a smirk. "But that aside, if you want one. Than who am I to object."

Butler narrowed his dark eyes. Something seemed... fishy.

"I don't want to wake up bound and gagged in an alley or something." he said blandly. Artemis tried to look innocent, yet offended.

"I have never bound and/or gagged you." he said. "I'm offended you'd think such a thing."

"Of course you are. But the fact remains that last time you agreed to have sex with me, you drugged me and stole everything but my clothes and guns."

"I didn't steal your wallet, or your shoes."

"But you took what was IN my wallet. I'm almost broke."

Artemis shrugged carelessly.

"And why should I care if you're broke? _I'm_ not and that's what matters. Besides, you shouldn't be buying useless things like guns if you don't have much money. Because, if you don't mind me saying, you don't exactly need another. You've got quite the arsenal there."

"I would have money if you hadn't stolen it." growled Butler, ignoring the quip about his collection of deadly weapons, temper rising.

"You shouldn't have been so careless than to try and sleep with a criminal. What do you think I was going to do? Let you have your wicked way with me and then proclaim my ever lasting love for you?"

"No, but I thought you'd at least have sex with me. I was going to pay you anyway..."

The boy looped his arms around Butler's neck and smiled up at him.

"Ever the blunt one I see." he shifted around to see if the older man was still... excited. He was. "Well, why don't we stop talking and do something about your problem? Or I can leave and you can beat off in the bathroom. Which would be awfully pitiful for you. But I suppose you're used to it."

Butler glared and Artemis smirked. Blue eyes sparkling with mirth. The boy was trying to get a rise out of him (No pun intended of course). Brat.

"I don't see any hotel rooms around here." he said, instead of the many nasty things going around in his head. The genius shrugged.

"No, but there are bathrooms." he untangled himself from the hunters large arms and flounced over to the black bag which had been lying, forgotten near-by. It was a surprise no one had taken it. But Butler had seen the dead body of a man in the hallway earlier and guessed no one was stupid enough to steal from Artemis. How did he know the kid had killed the man? Someone had said a girl in a white dress had kicked the unfortunate stranger in the head.

"I thought you said having sex in bathrooms was pitiful?"

Artemis hauled the bag onto his shoulder and fiddled around with the strap to make it more comfortable for him. His shoulder was already red.

"No, I said masturbating in a bathroom is pitiful. There is a difference. Now come on, you're wasting time and we don't want you doing any damage to your- (he gestured to Butlers crotch, pausing) -do we?"

Butler shrugged off his long, black jacket and held it in front of himself.

"No we do not." he came to stand beside Artemis, who slipped one small hand into the inside crook of his elbow. Obviously a sign that he wasn't going to run.

"Lead the way."

--

(You can all use your imaginations for the sex. I'm no good at writing them and when I do, I'm kicked off fanfiction... so... sorry? I know, I'm an awful, awful tease. Let us continue shall we?)

--

It turned out that having sex in a stall in one of the public loo's of the CCM was common. At least... on the 17th floor. No one seemed to care, though the Bounty Hunter wouldn't put it past the scum to listen in the corridor. Artemis cheerfully commented that they probably had recorders.

Butler was shocked Artemis hadn't bailed when they'd reached the mens restrooms. But it wasn't like he wasn't _grateful_. Having sex with the convict was the best thing that had happened to him since he started this mission. Even if it was quick sex in a crammed little box. It was still sex and having Artemis so close to him was pleasant. He'd been right about the boy having a perfect body. Though perfect was an understatement. Fucking beautiful would be more up the hunters alley and vocabulary.

Artemis was currently trying to get his wits back, sandwiched between the right wall of the stall and Butler. Slim legs wrapped loosely around the older mans middle. His blond locks where tussled, face flushed. The boy his eyes closed and was just sitting there quietly.

Butler, who was having quite a time staying upright, though what little room he had to stand in the loo stall, he was almost backed up against the left wall himself. There really wasn't much room to move, and Artemis had been doing all the moving. Butler just had to stand, which wasn't easy. He really wanted to sit down. Which he could, there was a seat here after all, but Artemis looked quite happy where he was and Butler didn't want to move him. Yet.

"You seem content." he commented roughly.

Artemis made a little noise and opened his eyes, peering up at Butler through half lidded orbs.

"Well of course. Not to inflate your ego, which would be quite large already I'll bet, but after having sex like that, even _in_ a toilet stall, one would be content."

Butler, ego inflating anyway, smirked smugly. Silently cheering himself for his amazing abilities in love making. Oh yes, he was _good_. Artemis let his head loll back to rest on the wall, watching Butler quietly.

"But I've had better." he remarked absently.

The imaginary crowd of cheerleaders fell silent and Butler scoffed.

"Yeah right. You're just saying that because you don't want to seem too nice after complimenting me."

The boy shifted around, wincing. They hadn't moved since finishing and Butler hadn't removed himself from Artemis yet. It wasn't all that comfortable.

"No I'm quite serious. I've had better. As I'm sure you have as well."

"Who?" asked Butler, not that he should care. He guessed Artemis had slept with heaps of people, his vast amount of experience before was too much for a teenager to have. The kid was a slut probably. Not that he had any room to talk. But for some reason he didn't like the idea of anyone topping him, he wanted to be the best Artemis had had.

The boy in question smiled at him coyly.

"I'll tell you, as well as my plans for universal domination." he answered. Well it wasn't like he wasn't expecting that.

"Right. So you plan to take over the universe?"

"Of course not. You can't take over the universe, it's practically impossible. Besides it's tacky, only a fool would try it. But we aren't here to talk about what I do."

Butler was sent a suspicious glance from the convict. Artemis probably thought Butler was trying to get information out of him while he was in the state of afterglow. He didn't mean for it to come across like that.

"I didn't mean it like that, I was just joking."

Artemis ignored him and shifted around again. He looked up at Butler pointedly.

"As much as I enjoy sitting here, your body is quite comfortable, I would appreciate it if you... exited my body. I'm starting to get a cramp in a very unusual place."

Butler started, blushed lightly and lifted the boy off his flaccid member. Muttering apologizes. Artemis needed a bit of support when he was placed on the ground and started grouping around for his discarded dress. The white slip was lying in a wet lump in the toilet bowl. Died blue from the scented water.

Butler felt the burning gaze before seeing the blue eyes plowing into his head. Artemis pointed to the toilet.

"Unless you can pull new clothes out of your arse, I need something else to wear." he said. And Butler was reminded of that night in the bar, where he had first met the boy.

The guard spluttered a reply that he didn't have any other clothes and was about to suggest that they try cleaning the dress in the sink and drying it with the hot air blow dryer, when the genius shut him up with a sort of growl.

"Give me your coat." he ordered.

"My coat?" echoed Butler, looking at said piece of clothing. Artemis nodded, holding out one hand.

"Yes, your coat. Did I stutter? Give it to me, now."

The Bounty Hunter held the garment to his chest and started to retort.

"N-" though he was cut off when the boy snatched the coat from his protective grasp and slipped it on. Wrapping it around his small body tightly.

"You owe me a new dress. Though this coat will serve as good payment for your poor aiming skills." he said tartly.

"That's my favorite coat." started the hunter angrily.

Artemis tied the black slash around his middle to keep the coat on and looked as though he'd completely ignored the fact the the older man had spoken.

"And I liked that dress and you ruined it. So we are even. Now then..." he held out another hand as Butler struggled into his pants, mourning the loss of his precious jacket. The man glared at him when Artemis cleared his throat.

"Now what do you want? You already took my coat."

"I did and now I want 100 celle. Pay up." he jerked his outstretched hand a little to emphasize his demand. Butler looked at it as though the slim fingers had transfigured into fire breathing snakes.

"What for?" he snarled out.

"I said I charge 100 celle for an hours worth of sex and 300 if you're horrible. You weren't horrible, so it's 100. I'm going easy on you, you should be grateful. Now give me my fee."

Butler pulled on his tight fitting black tank top (1) and continued gaped, Artemis had CHARGED him?

"I didn't realize you where charging me."

"I suppose then, that my assumption of you not being very bright was correct. Of _course_ I was charging you. I don't go around having sex with strangers for nothing."

"You shouldn't go around having sex with strangers at_ all_." countered Butler as he fumbled with his many holsters. Artemis shrugged.

"And I shouldn't steel and kill either, but I do. You're not in a position to lecture me about my lifestyle. _Bounty Hunter_. You kill for money because you can't make it as a real cop." (2)

He was met with no verbal response and a dark glare in his direction. The quip had hit home then, good. Butler finished dressing and opened the door, walking out of the stall and checking himself in the mirror. Artemis picked up his bag and followed the man out of the bathroom.

"If you can't afford it, that's ok." he said conversationally. Butler turned to him sharply.

"Yes, I can't afforded it, and who's reason is that?"

Artemis smiled at him and plucked a knife from Butler's person. Before the man could react and get his weapon back, the young beauty made some quick movements that Butler couldn't follow and stepped back, looking at Butler's chest, which suddenly stung, smugly. The older man followed the gaze and looked down at himself.

He was surprised to find the letters I, O and U slashed out of his shirt and carved into his skin. The wound bleeding lightly, no wonder his chest hurt. He looked back at Artemis with wide, questioning eyes. But the boy was gone.

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(1) Or singlet, camisole, whatever you call them. We call them singlets here in Australia.

(2) And though I realize that Bounty Hunters may be up the authority ladder more than a police officer (though I wouldn't know) Bounty Hunters in this story are practically criminal themselves.

**End note: This story DOES have a plot, I'm just not trying very hard to bring it out. I'll bring it in later. But don't worry, I'm not wasting your time by writing go nowhere garbage. It's actually going along the right path. So fear not!**

Review and tell me nice things.

They don't have that button so you can mouth off.


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